Author Archive: patientswewillneverforget
Electronic Medical Records: A Modern-day Tin Lizzie
patientswewillneverforget ♦ June 21, 2015 ♦ 2 Comments
All new inventions start with fledging prototypes fraught with flaws. With time and innovation they can evolve into the “must-have” televisions, smart phones, and iPads of today. Take, for example, the first Model T. The earliest cars had radiators that froze and exploded in the cold of New England winters. Treadless tires got stuck in …
Why Doctors Run Behind Schedule
patientswewillneverforget ♦ June 1, 2015 ♦ 1 Comment
What is the number one complaint of patients about their doctors? Their miserably long wait time. “Why can’t you doctors stay on schedule?” an angry patient once hurled at me. Why, indeed! Yes, in a perfect world, I would see patients in a timely manner. But here’s a typical Monday morning: 8:00 AM: The first …
Daffy Duck Syndrome: The Newest in Dermal Lip Fillers???
patientswewillneverforget ♦ May 4, 2015 ♦ Leave a comment
Barbara Jackson,* a pleasant woman with high blood pressure and diabetes, called my receptionist shortly after lunch one day and insisted she needed to be seen right away. “I look like Daffy Duck!” she insisted. Sure enough, twenty minutes later, in rushed Barbara, her upper lip swollen to five times its normal size. She whispered …
Forgiveness: A Father’s Final Gift
patientswewillneverforget ♦ April 25, 2015 ♦ 2 Comments
Howard Banks doubled over and gripped his chest as the EMTs rushed his stretcher out of the ambulance and into the emergency room. Nurses and doctors quickly administered nitroglycerin, morphine, and aspirin, and after confirming with blood tests and EKG that Howard was having a massive heart attack, they consulted a cardiologist. Since I was …
Pediatrics 101: Parenting and How NOT to Discipline your Child!
patientswewillneverforget ♦ February 8, 2015 ♦ 1 Comment
I had aced my three-month Pediatric rotation and devoured textbooks on effective child rearing. According to the books, disciplining children was a cinch: set reasonable and clear boundaries, use time-outs, and divvy out firm but consistent consequences mixed with encouragement and affection. How hard can it be? Now a self-proclaimed expert on all things pediatric, …
Thank God for Experienced Nurses!
patientswewillneverforget ♦ February 1, 2015 ♦ Leave a comment
If it hadn’t been for Abigail Norris RN, the patient would have died—in five minutes flat! All across America, experienced nurses oversee the hospital orders of newbie interns, and thank God they do! On my first day as an intern, my overseeing resident, James, said, “I just want to make sure you know you should …
July: Danger! Danger!
patientswewillneverforget ♦ January 18, 2015 ♦ Leave a comment
Few patients—but every doctor—knows you should never, ever, under any circumstances get sick and go to the emergency room during the month of July. Why, you ask? The answer is simple: Interns! Medical students! Every July 1st, a new crop of green students is released onto the unsuspecting public to practice their fumbling skills for …
The Pole Dancer and…Family Values???
patientswewillneverforget ♦ January 10, 2015 ♦ Leave a comment
Just when I thought I’d heard everything, in walked Keri, a tall, beautiful brunette dressed in a mini-skirt and three-inch heels. She sashayed to her exam room sporting legs so long and sexy they could rival Tina Turner’s. With a body like that, she could be a model, I mused. “How can I help you, …
At Least He Made it to the Zombies Concert!
patientswewillneverforget ♦ October 26, 2014 ♦ 2 Comments
If we are honest, most of us have used a sinus infection, migraine, or impending cold as an excuse to get out of events we didn’t want to attend: church budget meetings, PTA, the funeral of someone we barely knew, and soccer games on a muddy field on a cold, drizzly November. Yup. At times …
Patients I Will Never Forget 
I said WHAT???
patientswewillneverforget ♦ January 3, 2015 ♦ 2 Comments
Art Linkletter once wrote a book called Children Say the Darndest Things. As a doctor, however, I maintain that patients, under the influence of anesthesia or mind-altering pain medications, say the darndest things! Take Joseph, a fifty-year-old banking executive. After being doped up with Versed, a potent tranquilizer, he underwent his first screening colonoscopy. While awake, …
Continue reading →