Monthly Archives: June, 2013

Please, Not in the Waiting Room!

Willie Morrison plodded through the waiting room and informed my new receptionist he needed to be seen right away for a diabetic ulcer on his leg. Since Willie had arrived thirty minutes early, the receptionist asked him to take a seat. But instead of sitting down, Willie wandered around the waiting room, at times staring …

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The Medical-Legal Dangers of Electronic Medical Records

The federal government is pushing doctors to convert their paper charts to electronic medical records. I am still investigating all of the software programs currently available, though so far, I haven’t found one I’m comfortable with. I nearly bought a program (“Dragon”) that allowed me to merely dictate my notes, and then the computer would …

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It’s Too Late for Sheila

I met Sheila, a twenty-six-year old, on the Psychiatric ward. I was a greener-than-the-Grinch third-year medical student completing my three-month psychiatry rotation, and Sheila was on suicide watch after a half-baked suicide attempt (she overdosed on Tylenol but then immediately called 911.) Thanks to Weight Watchers, Sheila had lost fifty pounds the previous year, but …

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An Honors Class for Remedial Dieters

  I eyed the name of my next patient on the schedule and groaned. Maggie Nelson. Why did I even bother trying to help her? Talk about a waste of time. I had spent hours over the years counseling, encouraging, guilt tripping, and attempting to motivate the butterball to lose weight. Diabetes, high cholesterol, high …

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The Best Doctor in America

I recently received a letter from the “National Institute of Medicine” informing me that I had been chosen for the Institute’s prestigious “Award of Excellence.” Despite not graduating from an Ivy league medical school, not publishing a single research paper,  not graduating in the top ten percent of my class, and not discovering a cure …

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